23 July 2001

Today marks 19 years since my mom died. I usually tell myself that I will not attach a memory to a day because that’s predestining a day to either be good or bad.

So today was like yesterday and the day before that and the weeks before until it wasn’t.

The thing about death is the finality of it all. They don’t tell you that losing someone that important means carrying loss for the rest of your life. For as long as I live, today will be the day my mom died and I was given a type of loss I’m constantly finding new depths to.

The Audacity of Men

Dear You,

You are ignoring your lover.

You asked him what kept him out so late and he asked you if you thought he was with another woman.

So you are ignoring your lover.

Because you don’t want to keep count but you have travelled 30 hours to see him and bought incense and silky white linens for his house and all he has done is tell you you are acting like his ex when you ask who he is texting at 2 a.m.

That’s why you are ignoring your lover.

Because this is the first time since you started sleeping in his bed that you have woken up and didn’t have to ask yourself if he loves you.

Because this is the first time in a long time that you have had one answer to your questions.