Six Months down, Six months to go.

6 months into 2015 hey. I drafted a new years resolution list for the first time in my life. (Before, my resolutions were just spoken). I meant for my resolutions to be guidelines for me this year.
One of my resolutions was/is to not be so hard on myself. For some people their parents are their  worst critics but for me, I was my worst critic. I judged myself too harshly, scrutinized my actions and wished I did everything differently. I was literally a hazard to myself because I could self-destruct with all these criticisms and judgements I passed on myself. Dare I get a bad grade, that would haunt me for the rest of the year. Well this year I made a cautious decision to give myself a little credit. To appreciate myself a little more. To stop hiding behind the fake vanity and think I am a beautiful entity who deserves to be here.
I must say, this is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I don’t carry my mistakes with me anymore. I understand I am bound to make decisions whose consequences I may not like but thats the whole point of being human. I am laughing and crying at my mistakes and learning and moving on. I am letting my emotions bleed and swell because again, I am human. Not a robot.
I am allowing myself to be contradict myself, because maybe life isn’t black and white, maybe life has gray areas.


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