Today marks 18 yrs since you died.
And I don’t remember the day like it was yesterday.
I don’t know if it was a chilly day or a hot sunny day.
I don’t remember your voice.
I don’t remember anything you said to me.
I only have one memory of you. One.
You were driving Christopher Jnr and I to school and I was in the backseat.
That’s all I have.
But its everything.
I cling on to every word people who knew about you say about you.
Like how you played in your Uni volleyball team
Or how you were the first person to call me Tina and now its caught on like fire.
I miss you.
And I wish I could get a day with you.
or 5 minutes really.
I long for the memories we couldve had.
I am 21 now.
I have a degree now.
I hope these make you proud.
I don’t know how to celebrate your life.
Pretending today is just another day has gotten old.
But letting today be an ugly day isn’t right either.
I will go through the photo albums.
Re read your notes behind the photos
And shed a couple tears, smile and laugh at your 80s outfits.
And hope you never forget
I will love you always,