It Can’t Happen to Me

Guess what? It can. And it probably will. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Recently, four days ago type of recent, I’ve had something I never thought would happen to me happen to me. I 100% thought “yeah, it happens. But to them. Not people like me”. Get this you and I, we are the them.

I have been (am) young and wild and reckless. Most (young) people are. We make decisions either fully aware of the consequences if it turns out bad or not aware of the consequences at all. We call ourselves risk takers, we call ourselves young wild and free, we call it living life in the moment because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed right? Well right. But everything has a limit. Freedom is only free so much until it imprisons you. Wildness is only so wild until it tames you. Living life in the moment is only fun until tomorrow comes. Recklessness is only so thrilling until you crash. And 99.99999999999% of the time crash you will. 

I’ve crashed. I am burning. I’ve finally fully comprehended just how selfish, self-centred and reckless my actions were. I’ve hurt and disappointed people I love. People who mean so much I just want to make them proud and keep the smile on their face. I’ve learned that your life is not your own, you have people counting on you, rooting for you praying for you, cheering you on. And your failure is their failure. Your recklessness is their hurt and disappointment.

I am kinda glad I’ve crashed. This is the wake up call I so desperately needed. I don’t know how I will mend the relationships I’ve broken or earn back that trust but I am determined to be careful in my decisions and hope God helps me work this out.

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