Writers block

He asks you to write him something

You tell him you have writers block

He doesn’t understand that writing is therapy

And sometimes, you have to be quiet and listen during therapy.

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Dear reader who is very loyal and patient,

I will write more this year. Not only because my job has so much free time or because I have learned that inspiration is all about perspective. No. Not that. I will write more because stories need to be told.

Tina 🖤

Ode to my Dad

Dear Dad,
Hie.
Today marks 18 yrs since you died.
And I don’t remember the day like it was yesterday.
I don’t know if it was a chilly day or a hot sunny day.
I don’t remember your voice.
I don’t remember anything you said to me.
I only have one memory of you. One.
You were driving Christopher Jnr and I to school and I was in the backseat.
That’s it.
That’s all I have.
But its everything.
I cling on to every word people who knew about you say about you.
Like how you played in your Uni volleyball team
Or how you were the first person to call me Tina and now its caught on like fire.
I miss you.
And I wish I could get a day with you.
or 5 minutes really.
I long for the memories we couldve had.
I am 21 now.
I have a degree now.
I hope these make you proud.

I don’t know how to celebrate your life.
Pretending today is just another day has gotten old.
But letting today be an ugly day isn’t right either.
I will go through the photo albums.
Re read your notes behind the photos
And shed a couple tears, smile and laugh at your 80s outfits.
And hope you never forget
I will love you always,
Tina.

I Am Not The Girl You Love When It’s Convenient

Thought Catalog

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We worked so well — until we didn’t.

It’s only been about a week, and I haven’t really realized what I’ve lost yet. I’ll miss the long talks late at night, the jokes we shared that no one else would laugh at, and of course, I’ll miss the sex.

We used to fit together so perfectly. We talked and played and messed around as if it were a scripted sitcom on TV – I always thought to myself “this is too good to be real”. It was fleeting and a whirlwind, and I’ll never regret one second of it.

We were so compatible in so many ways, but unfortunately, not in the ways that matter most. I’m too strong, I’ve been through too much. It’s hardened me and made me into someone who loves in ways that are different than you do. You could never understand, and…

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Self love

Okay let me share.
I think I am seriously growing up. I am saying no and actually speaking up for myself. I am asking for more(unashamedly)  when I am no longer satisfied (a thing an ex said made him feel inadequate). But I’ve realised self love means being a little selfish. It means saying no to what you want oh so damn badly because its not right for you, not what you need . It means allowing yourself to feel a little lonely for the well being of your emotions. It means protecting yourself.