Depression tastes like wine left out in the open.
Frustration is like drowning in your blood, sweat and tears, on land.
Grief is all the almosts, could haves and should haves you cradle.
Anger is more like a storm; always leaves you wondering if its all necessary.
Happiness is said to be a baby’s laugh but I think it’s sitting in the afternoon sun and not asking why.
Loss is inevitable, almost anticipated, but still shocking.
Loneliness is comfortable. It makes you go to parties and find a solitary corner in the backyard. Its a darkness your eyes know.
Lust and rust are the same, it corrodes the soul.
Love is why we hurt. And hate with a passion that can burn the world and freeze the oceans.
2016 has been like standing at the top of a slope and thinking ‘The slope isn’t that steep’ then finding out after you take a step forward that you were actually at the edge of a cliff. That you are falling into a dark bottomless pit.
Basically its been shitty. Apart from life I only have one thing I’m grateful for this year and that’s my graduation.everything else has been shitty. From broken dreams tolosing loved ones. To dreading sunrises because that means another day of unanswered prayers has gone by. To depression. Broken heart, spirit and soul. I just didn’t want to live anymore.
How do I plan to live 2017? With zero expectations.Getting a tattoo because I’ve finally found the perfect one. Saving up because this year has taught me that. And letting go of the things I can’t change.
Hope y’all enjoy your New Years Eve. And continue reading my rants.
Our relationship is like a house.
You make a mess and I clean it up.
You break, I fix.
You stain, I scrub.
You leave, I live in it.
I lock you out
You have the spare key.
I apologise for the silence.
I have been uninspired. I am still uninspired. I feel like my life is a carousel, a 24 hour carousel. Its moving but it’s really just going around in cycles.
I hope to find something worth sharing with you in me.
He met Rose on the first day
Pretty with frills and pink lipstick to go
Her laughter brought out his
He plucked a flower and tucked it under her ear
It just felt right.
Catherine surprised him
Intrigued him, caught him offguard.
She had the ease of the river
the depth of an ocean
And the wit of a goddess
Pessimistic Ann was his least favourite
She always had her brows crooked
Almost in the same way she viewed the world
He wasn’t sure she really liked him.
The day he met her
Her name captivated him
She was gasoline to her own fire
He felt like ice; melting in her presence
But also like a candle; finding the lighter he so desperately needed.
I’ve been playing a lot of chess lately and though I’m not so good at it I’ve learned a lot of lessons from it. Yes dear reader, this is a motivational post.
So the average game of chess has 32 pieces with 16 pawn pieces. And generally, pawns are just that, pawns. They are used to trap a more valuable piece (Queen, bishop, rook or Knight). They are considered indispensable.
Pawns do get promoted to Queen. Bishop, rook or knight if one plays their cards right and makes right moves. My point is in life we all get assigned different roles, we all get defined differently, we all get different ‘starting points’. But that shouldn’t bother us, that shouldn’t matter, because just like a pawn piece we may get promoted to something bigger and better if we try, if we work hard and if we don’t give up.
So basically don’t give up. Life is a game of chess, think of your moves before you make them.
For further clarification, this is my dictionary’s definition of pawn:
(colloquial) Someone who is being manipulated or used to some end, usually not the end that individual would prefer
My head is full of stories
Stories I pretend I made up
Because that’s the only way I can live in this lifetime.
Like that night when I was 8
When you came to my room and told me it would hurt
But I shouldn’t tell because that’s what family does
I died with every push that night.
Or the Day my Mom died
I prayed day and night for her to be healed
I was only six and I believed our prayers got answered
My faith in God changed that day.
Remember Aunt Mary
She was sick for the longest
The day you went to the stores
She told me to bring her a glass of water.
I saw her take her meds. Or so I thought
When you came she was no more.
Did I tell you about my 14th year
And how I cried myself to sleep every night
And my arms knew the razor blade too well
Looking back I don’t know why I was so sad.
Maybe it was the divorce and having to pick sides.
Maybe it was the whispers that Daddy wasn’t my father
Maybe I was just overwhelmed.