Today one of the well known veteran musicians in the country posted a throwback of a newspaper article he was in dated 3 January 2000 and my first thought was ‘when my Mom was still alive’.
This is what grief and loss has been to me. I can go a thousand moments not thinking about the loss I have experienced then one moment, without warning, my brain finds the tiniest correlation (that doesn’t even make sense) to all the people I have lost.
The thing about loss is they go and you stay. With the memories, with the hopes and with all the emotions. The other thing about loss is your brain doesn’t forget them. So you experience grief at the most random of moments. And the thing about grief is that it’s not always sadness. Sometimes it comes as guilt. Sometimes as a deep yearning. Sometimes helpless confusion.
The thing about loss also is the first’s you experience without them, the milestones you wish they were there and the moments only they would understand.
With the Covid pandemic and the danger it poses to people with underlying conditions which is mostly older people, most of my peers have lost their parents. And with every post of loss , I think of my own. When people post their condolences and speak of time healing wounds, my thoughts finish the sentence with “and scars are left behind”.
Lately I have been playing Wrecked by Imagine Dragons on repeat. They wrote about loss and the grief and life that follows so beautifully it’s sad but also true.
Here’s a link to it https://open.spotify.com/track/2d1MywHy6FwKdzxFuSJnwl?si=_6scjZp-QGmTR6D7hhHXaA
momentswithtina 